Don't Try to Stop Me Smee
by John Bigboote
Summary: How do you guys like my body art?


"_METAL GEAR?"_

\- Snake Plissken, Big Trouble in Little China

* * *

If by any chance the Shimabara sisters had skipped taking a bath this morning, they didn't need to worry because they were about to get one. The iron temple rattled as it was struck by another immense earthquake. The sisters were already sprawled on the floor from one the previous tremors. Minami was toppled in a heap. Ushio was using Minami's left breast as an armrest. Yuuhi was using Ushio's butt as a pillow.

They groggily separated from their unglamorous pile so they could sit up or crawl on their bellies. The metal shrine around them was in a state of dishevel and seemed to be resting at a slight tilt.

The sight outside in Tokyo City was just as hopeless. The Deity-of-the-Day the sisters were fighting was a colossal scylla born from the nightmares of terrified sailors. Half of her body was that of a beautiful, innocent, and modestly voluptuous maiden giant who sparkled in the bright sunlight. Her lower body was unrestrained sealife. The towering Kyoshin's appearance was more squid than human, with countless grasping and coiling tentacles that stretched as long as the city's skyscrapers. She went by the name Ikamusa.

Ranga had toppled over one of the buildings in defeat. The Kyoshin was propped lifelessly in the remaining glass and concrete ruins, appearing almost like a giant king slumped back on a throne of rubble. Ikamusa hovered over him using his shoulders as her own sort of throne.

The queen was flirtatiously wrapping her tentacles all over the king's armor as she delighted in her victory. The ink that oozed from the undersides of her monstrous limbs already engulfed most of his outer protective plating. It was gradually seeping through his ventilation and invading his artificial veins, steadily making its way toward his cockpit heart.

The Shimabara sisters could hear the thick steams of a mystery liquid sloshing outside of the enclosed metal shrine. It was getting louder and closer with each second. All three pilots felt the anxiety creeping down their spines as they came to the same conclusion.

They always knew the customary laws of the tribe and dangers they were exposing themselves to. Piloting Ragna in the nude with their bodies anointed in sun red runes may have helped them concentrate and channel their energy in battle, but it also came with darker implications. When Kyoshin pilots were defeated in honorable battle, there was a risk and almost an expectation that they would rechristened by the winning forces. The process could alter the pilot's very beliefs so they had no choice but to show loyalty toward the deity who had defeated them.

The sisters had been defeated. They'd already taken the first step in availing themselves to Ikamusa by lying down with nothing protecting their skin. Their bodies were a set of bare canvases, and thousands of gallons of ink was getting warmed up.

They were fully devoted to the ancient ways. They would have peacefully handed themselves over if they ever lost a fair challenge, but they always thought their new commissions would happen in a quite temple somewhere after they got some rest. There would be monks meditating and each sister would have to patiently wait as while she was painted with her new tribal writs.

They were expecting something with a little respect and virtue. Something with at least a shred of dignity. But the way it was happening now was just horrifying. They never imagined they'd be caught like a bundle of squirming pink worms trapped inside of their sealed steel can when the battle had barely just ended and they didn't even have the strength to stand up.

With their machine-god immobilized and all the escape hatches clogged with cosmic sludge, the sisters weren't going anywhere. They were staying put and staying naked until the rival deity was finished enlightening them.

Ikamusa undulated softly so her inks mixed evenly and would adhere to surfaces with a smooth consistency.

"It's been fun playing with your fake god, but it looks like you don't have anything left to worship. I think it's time your puny white rumps learned how it feels to be blessed with a real goddess's runes. Let's skip all the boring stuff and just go straight to the festival. Don't you ladies agree?" the sea Kyoshin said while she directed her eyes toward Ranga's torso. She sounded suspiciously like Hisako Kanemoto trying to do a spooky voice.

She adjusted her tentacles like they were a long luxurious skirt so she perched over Ranga's shoulders in a more comfortable and sturdy position. It was the first time she was actually able to relax after the golem Kyoshin completely stopped moving.

As she leaned back, the squid secretions that already covered Ranga slowly oozed down his hull in layers after layers and left him in an even more wretched state. Ikamusa's primary defensive mechanisms became a revolting offense to all of humankind. Her method of conducting the ceremony ensured both Ragna's three current followers would become her cult and nobody would ever want to worship him again.

The king was down. The queen was situated securely on her high throne. The sacred pomade was flowing in thick burbling rolls toward the pasty lumps of dough that needed some sweetening. Everything was falling in place just as the heavens intended.

Ikamusa smiled and uttered a soft _"Aah."_

"Sorry my calligraphy's never been the greatest. We'll just have to go for a little dip together," she subtly and salaciously threatened the small mortals inside the paralyzed Kyoshin.

The goddess looked down and chuckled ominously as she produced more ink for the special occasion. She wanted every bit of it to wash over all those dry pink curves and pits and crevasses so they became sleek and shiny.

The bright red markings that identified the Shimabara sisters weren't going to be there for much longer. Ikamusa wouldn't have to worry about washing off all the old symbols since they were just going to be instantly blotched out anyway. Abyssal black would soon be the favorite color of those raucous shrine maidens.

Other deities created their ritual runes from magic elixirs or carefully mixed plant extracts, but that wasn't good enough for Ikamusa. She wanted to show these girls who's boss by marinating them in her own lipids, pigments, and scent.

The metal walls and canopy inside Ragna's shrine groaned and squealed like the hull of a submarine slowly failing to immense underwater pressure. The three sisters were stripped down to their stark pale hides and glued shut inside a tanning parlor. They were mice trapped in a cage sinking into a tarpit.

The shrine suddenly uttered a horrible metallic moan. The sides of the chamber buckled at the seams a moment later. There was the deafening sound of a waterfall splashing down and three high-pitched voices screaming _"Kyaaah!"_

The Shimabara sisters were drenched in rich black murk in less than a second. The waves of warm vileness only continued to spill and spill when only one wave would have been enough to perform the rites. The tarnished silhouettes of the sisters were consumed under the rising darkness, obscuring them from view as they drowned in squid oils.

As the last of the shrine barriers failed and the makeshift storage tank of Ragna's hollow torso filled up with cute girls and crude goo, the tentacles hanging down its front flopped teasingly and drew sloppy circles against the exterior. The inside of the structure was disgraced and profaned as Ragna's shrine, but it was exalted to new divinity as the site chosen for Ikamusa's initiation festival.

The ocean goddess stretched her head back and let out amused laughter that slipped into a sultry moan.

* * *

A trio of distinctly shaped shadows walked through the streets of Tokyo under the night sky. When they stood in the light from the fires burning around them, their figures still appeared unnaturally dark.

Ushio, Yuuhi, and Minami were running their nightly errands. These errands generally involved leveling city block after city block by summoning giant columns of geysers and terrifying sea monsters out of the ground even when there was no water source to be seen.

The sisters performed their usual tasks in their usual night attire. When they had served under Ranga, they were treated with modesty and only needed to get out of their clothes when they were within the sacred confines of the cockpit. Now that they served Ikamusa, they had no giant machines to control and they went around everywhere in their birthday suits. The hollow, blackened, and malice-covered ruins of their former Kyoshin god would always remain petrified in his final resting place in the middle of the city so his fall would serve as a monument to Ikamusa's power.

The ultimate fate of Ranga was one of the most hideous things that could have ever happened to a Kyoshin. After Ikamusa had administered the festival rites on Ranga's pilots and successfully made their busts smell like fresh sea cucumbers and their rears glimmer like spinels, she continued to inject ink into her giant prey. When his tank became so full that the brine actually started flowing up through the top of his cockpit block, she situated herself on top of the wound and sealed it with her own body so the sisters wouldn't come spilling out of their tub. Then she injected even more ink straight inside. When Ranga's stress limits had taken too much and another leak burst open at the base of his belly, Ikamusa tightly wrapped her tentacles around his waist and patched that one up, too. And yes, she injected even more ink. When she decided she had inflicted enough of her divine wrath, she performed a lethal C-section on Ranga that left a massive gouge down the entire front of his torso. She saved the sisters' lives by fishing them out by hand and left the gouge open so the world would see the unsalvageable abyss Ranga's cockpit had become. Ikamusa insisted on forgetting his real name and only ever called him "Mr. Seahorse."

A few weeks ago, the Shimabara sisters had been noble heroes who devoted their lives to defending humanity and never even considered attacking innocent people. Now they were only the Tattooed Teenage Alien Fighters from the Roppongi District (except for Minami, who was 24).

They had been dyed the color of onyx in their baptism. They shined like they were drenched even when they were completely dry. Their irises had turned black and gave them each eyes that looked like they only had solid pupils. The markings that showed their communion with Ikamusa startled at their feet and weaved up their bodies in light bluish-green patterns resembling sea anemone. Their darker change in tone brought out more of the ample Minami's body lines and made the smaller Yuuhi more stealthy.

They attacked the city to carry out their mistress's terrible but ecologically-friendly will. It was their holy quest to take back the world for the ocean kingdom and save the planet from what Ikamusa referred as "awful yucky land apes." The sisters were technically part of those land apes, but the ceremonial writs that encompassed their full bodies gave them a loophole.

When the sea goddess had promised to get them in shape and teach them to be real disciples, she wasn't squidding around.

* * *

_Author's note: The BGM for the Shinto Sirens is the Demon King music from The Messenger._

_Author's note 2: Ikamusa used a special move I like to call "Giving Them the Ghidorah."_


End file.
